Changes Teenagers Need of Their Father to Improve Relationship

Have you ever had the desire for someone to change their negative behavior because it was destroying or damaging the relationship? I am quite sure your answer is probably, yes! As a parent, I have made many mistakes but I always valued our teenagers’ perspective on things. Sometimes we disagreed but we did everything we could to prevent damaging the relationship. My greatest desire was to always respect my adolescents' opinions.

 

Listed below are changes teenagers said they needed of their father to improve their relationship:

 

 Sierra: "My father and I have a good relationship. But I know I have a lot of hostility against him because of how much he drinks. I don’t. normally let the hostility out but sometimes I do. I know sometime it hurt but it hurts me to watch him drink every day."

Sara wants her father to stop drinking because of the damage the alcohol is doing to her father physically and emotionally. She was very concerned about the impact on their relationship. I hope that one day Sierra's father will stop drinking so that her life will be better as they rebuild their relationship. Her father needs to seek help to stop drinking. I pray and hope he will make a commitment to get help.

Frank: "My pop needs to listens to me more often

Vanessa: "My father needs to talk to me instead of arguing with me."

Dallas: "My father needs to spend more time with me and be there for me without yelling at me. Talk to me instead of yelling at me."

Tammy: "My daddy needs to be in my life more.  Daddy needs to understand where I am coming from about everything."

Hillary: “I wish my dad would come to see me more often and spend time with me. I also want my dad to love me in spite of all the mistakes I have made!"

Ruby: "My father needs to talk to me more often and don't tell me he's going to do things for me and then he doesn’t follow through"

 

Comments on teenagers’ responses to question

 

Adolescents are wonderful to be around to engage in a conversation about life. Teens are very intelligent but some have deficiencies in life skills which may and may not be as a result of their doing. These teenagers shared their feelings but sometimes they fail to share their feelings with their father. Listed below are 16 steps every father in the world should consider to improve their relationship with their teenager:

 

Fifteen (16) steps for a father to improve relationship with their teenager

1. Always keep your promise
2. Do not make a promise you can't keep
3.  Explain why you can't keep the promise before hand, if the promise must be broken
4. Avoid substance of abuse to prevent damaging the relationship with your teenager.
5. Take time to listen and give advice only when your teenager ask for it
6.  Do not yell at your teenager but speak firmly with a loving and caring heart
7.  Make spending time with your teenager a high priority
8.  Avoid working when you are spending time with your teenager
9. Communication your feelings with respect to your teenager during conflict
10. Do not give material things as a substitute to spending time with your teenager
11. Model being a great father to your youth
12. Teach your teenager the life skills needed to be successful
13. Show unconditional love regardless of the number of wrong choices your youngster makes
14. Model to your adolescent the value of serving others
15. Value your teenager’s opinion as a supportive father building a relationship your teenager
16. Show your teenager what it means to be committed to a relationship

Written: Billy J.  Strawter, Sr

(c) 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.   All rights reserved

Twenty Issues That Negatively Impact the Family

There are many situations that negatively impact the foundation of the family. This article focuses on twenty issues that negatively impact the success of a family. Solutions are also provided to help the family to move in the right direction. Every family must identify the best strategies they can use to ensure the success of their family. Use appropriate tools that work for your family. Listed below are solutions to help you to deal with the twenty Issue that negatively impact the family:

Issue #1 Instability in the home

Solution: Provide stability and avoid divorce if possible; do not live together without being married. Reward each other for good deeds.

Issue #2 Decline of role models

Solution: Avoid being involved with activities that will negatively impact your child’s behavior. Value your child’s opinion. Admit when you are wrong and apologize.

Issue #3 Decline in spirituality

Solution: Teach your child spiritual values. Lead by example. If you do not teach them about spirituality someone will.

Issue #4 Lack of consistent discipline

Solution: Provide consistent discipline with love; explain reason (s) for disciplinary action. Avoid arguments that lead to unproductive discussions. Provide the child with boundaries.

Issue #5 Lack of father or mother in the home

Solution: Both mother and father are needed in the home if possible. If not, fathers need to be involved in some manner with the child as well as the mother.

Issue #6 Lack of communication

Solution: Value good communication. Give the child a sense of security by being there for them regardless of their actions. Let your yes mean yes and no mean no! Explain clearly any changes in decision.

Issue #7 Poor listening skills

Solution: Learn when to give advice and when to listen.

Issue #8: Drug and alcohol abuse
Solution: Communicate the dangers of using drugs, alcohol and the negative impact it has on their lives and others.

Issue # 9: Sexual abuse

Solution: Share with your child the purpose of sex and inform them of inappropriate behavior that can hurt them and others for years. Discuss the consequences such as sexual transmitted diseases (STD's) and pregnancy. Discuss with them that sex offenders will be labeled as a sex offenders and that it will impact their freedom to work and live anywhere they desire.

Issue #10 Lack of family time

Solution: Eat dinner together. Participate in your child (s) activities (hobbies and sports). Limit child involvement in activities that keeps him/her away from the family.

Issue #11 Peer pressure

Solution: Build positive self-esteem by giving important tasks to perform and encourage volunteer work. Let your child know you are proud of the small things they do correctly. Hopefully it will decrease their potential to give into peer pressure.

Issue #12: Inability to control attitude and temper

Solution: Avoid reacting to negative situations but calmly communicate your feelings to the child with respect. Use control when you are angry about your child’s negative behavior.

Issue #13 Too much emphasis on material possessions

Solution: Instill good work ethics. Share with your child the importance of waiting for material things.

Issue #14 Lack of extended family

Solution: Allow your child to get to know his or her grandparents. Get advice and support from other family members.

Issue #15 Insufficient love and hugs

Solution: Tell your child you love him or her and give them a hug.

Issue #16 Character attack

Solution: Build your child’s character by understanding their needs. Dislike the negative behavior but love the child. Do not call the child stupid or dumb. Avoid using undesirable language to attack your child's character.

Issue #17 Lack of goals and vision

Solution: Teach the child the importance of setting goals.

Issue #18 Lack of skill to manage money

Solution: Teach the child about money management. Set up a savings account at home or bank.

Issue #19 Selfishness

Solution: Teach a child how to serve others with compassion.

Issue # 20 Lack of forgiveness

Solution: Encourage a child to forgive those who hurt him or her. This allows the child to grow beyond the pain they have experienced.

These are simple solution to help you develop a strong family foundation that will last a life time. Parents, you will make mistakes but do not allow your mistakes to put you or your family in bondage. You must seek every legal means possible to ensure the success of your family. Live a life you know that will be a guiding light for you and your family.

Written by: Mr. Wisdom

http://www.successtoparenting.com/

(c) EnviCare Consulting, Inc. Alrights Reserved Worldwide