Simple Ways Parents Can Discipline a Teenager

One of the most challenging aspects of being a parent is disciplining a teenager when they have made wrong choices; especially when they have violated your trust. Parents also struggle with who will be the disciplinarian when actually both should be. It is imperative that parents work in unison when it comes to discipline. If you don't, the teenager will foster disagreement between their parents.

A teenager knows how to steal your heart with their eyes and pitiful looks when being disciplined. Don't give into the teenager unless you have strong reasons to believe the negative behavior will discontinue. Listed below are some guidelines you should follow when it comes to disciplining your teenagers.

1. Disciplining should be based on the teenager's current negative behavior: Avoid bring up the past even though it might be the same negative behavior. Your teenager already knows about the problem. You should remain focused on dealing with the current problem. Make sure you listen and avoid yelling and screaming. Communicate your feelings about the situation with a calm and strong voice. Above all, it is very important that you listen carefully to your teenager.
2. Never use discipline as a dumping ground for your personal conflict with others: If you have a personal problem with someone else, please don't allow it to impact how you respond to your teenager. If you can't calm yourself, you need to wait until later before you deal with your teenager. You need to focus on thinking clearly and calmly as you deal with your teenager’s issues.
3. Use appropriate disciplinary actions for each teenager: Every teenager is different so choose the right disciplinary actions that will give the most benefits in changing the teenager's negative behavior. When a teenager is very popular, a good method is to take away privileges. (No phone, no friends for two weeks, etc.). For example, our son was popular, smart, involved with sports and had an abundance of friends. So we had to utilize a variety of disciplinary actions. His punishments included taking away the car or phone and staying away from friends. If you have a teenager that sits at home, it's more challenging to discipline them. For example, our daughter focused on one friend at a time. She loved staying at home. So we decided her punishment would be to walk around the block. She would say "This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen.” But the punishment was very effective and changed her behavior. 
4. Use a variety of disciplinary actions to deter the teenager's negative behavior: By utilizing the same disciplinary action over and over again, the teenager will eventually become desensitized. Parents should employ multiple types of disciplinary actions to deter the teenager's negative behavior. Apply consequences that will not put you in bondage, the teenager should be affected more than the parents.
5. Disciplinary actions should be designed to eliminate or minimize the teenager's negative behavior: When a teenager's negative behavior does not change after disciplining, there could be some event that is causing the negative behavior that you don't know. You should sit down with your child and present them with an opportunity to express their feelings. It is the parent’s responsibility to listen intently to what the teenager has articulated or not articulated. Avoid becoming frustrated if you don't understand your teenager's issues. Your teenager's negative behavior could be a result of stress, substance abuse, bullying, divorce, relationships, pregnancy, jealousy, academics, sexual transmitted diseases, rape, peer pressure, incest, sibling rivalry or other issues. If you need outside assistance with your teenager don't hesitate to get help. Make sure you seek the right type of counselor for your teenager. 
6. Discipline must be a continuous and consistent process which sets boundaries for the teenager: Avoid reducing your teenager's punishment because you are worn down as a result of the teenager's constant nagging. Your teen will take advantage of your weakness. You and your spouse should be in agreement about the disciplinary action.
7. Discipline shows the teenager the consequences of breaking those boundaries: Teenagers need to know and understand that there are boundaries not to cross and to understand the consequences for breaking those boundaries. Teenagers need to understand that boundaries are established for their protection.
8. Avoid disciplining a teenager out of anger. Try to understand the reason(s) for negative behavior: Parents, you must stay in control when using discipline. Do not yell nor use words that will damage your teenager’s self-esteem. You will be more effective in dealing with the situation, when you treat your teen with respect. 
9. Discipline the teenager with a caring and compassionate heart: Parents, you should always discipline your teenager in ways that do not attack your teen's character. Let your teenager know you are concerned about potential negative consequences on his or her life. It's important to use words that build up your teenager instead of tearing them down.
10. Award the teenager for positive behavior: It is appropriate to reward your teenager for making right choices, especially when the teenager has worked hard to improve their behavior. Parents should be eager to reward their teenager for the small improvements which will hopefully lead to great success for the teenager and peace within the home.

Written by Mr. Wisdom

(c) 2011 EnviCare Consulting All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Twenty Issues That Negatively Impact the Family

There are many situations that negatively impact the foundation of the family. This article focuses on twenty issues that negatively impact the success of a family. Solutions are also provided to help the family to move in the right direction. Every family must identify the best strategies they can use to ensure the success of their family. Use appropriate tools that work for your family. Listed below are solutions to help you to deal with the twenty Issue that negatively impact the family:

Issue #1 Instability in the home

Solution: Provide stability and avoid divorce if possible; do not live together without being married. Reward each other for good deeds.

Issue #2 Decline of role models

Solution: Avoid being involved with activities that will negatively impact your child’s behavior. Value your child’s opinion. Admit when you are wrong and apologize.

Issue #3 Decline in spirituality

Solution: Teach your child spiritual values. Lead by example. If you do not teach them about spirituality someone will.

Issue #4 Lack of consistent discipline

Solution: Provide consistent discipline with love; explain reason (s) for disciplinary action. Avoid arguments that lead to unproductive discussions. Provide the child with boundaries.

Issue #5 Lack of father or mother in the home

Solution: Both mother and father are needed in the home if possible. If not, fathers need to be involved in some manner with the child as well as the mother.

Issue #6 Lack of communication

Solution: Value good communication. Give the child a sense of security by being there for them regardless of their actions. Let your yes mean yes and no mean no! Explain clearly any changes in decision.

Issue #7 Poor listening skills

Solution: Learn when to give advice and when to listen.

Issue #8: Drug and alcohol abuse
Solution: Communicate the dangers of using drugs, alcohol and the negative impact it has on their lives and others.

Issue # 9: Sexual abuse

Solution: Share with your child the purpose of sex and inform them of inappropriate behavior that can hurt them and others for years. Discuss the consequences such as sexual transmitted diseases (STD's) and pregnancy. Discuss with them that sex offenders will be labeled as a sex offenders and that it will impact their freedom to work and live anywhere they desire.

Issue #10 Lack of family time

Solution: Eat dinner together. Participate in your child (s) activities (hobbies and sports). Limit child involvement in activities that keeps him/her away from the family.

Issue #11 Peer pressure

Solution: Build positive self-esteem by giving important tasks to perform and encourage volunteer work. Let your child know you are proud of the small things they do correctly. Hopefully it will decrease their potential to give into peer pressure.

Issue #12: Inability to control attitude and temper

Solution: Avoid reacting to negative situations but calmly communicate your feelings to the child with respect. Use control when you are angry about your child’s negative behavior.

Issue #13 Too much emphasis on material possessions

Solution: Instill good work ethics. Share with your child the importance of waiting for material things.

Issue #14 Lack of extended family

Solution: Allow your child to get to know his or her grandparents. Get advice and support from other family members.

Issue #15 Insufficient love and hugs

Solution: Tell your child you love him or her and give them a hug.

Issue #16 Character attack

Solution: Build your child’s character by understanding their needs. Dislike the negative behavior but love the child. Do not call the child stupid or dumb. Avoid using undesirable language to attack your child's character.

Issue #17 Lack of goals and vision

Solution: Teach the child the importance of setting goals.

Issue #18 Lack of skill to manage money

Solution: Teach the child about money management. Set up a savings account at home or bank.

Issue #19 Selfishness

Solution: Teach a child how to serve others with compassion.

Issue # 20 Lack of forgiveness

Solution: Encourage a child to forgive those who hurt him or her. This allows the child to grow beyond the pain they have experienced.

These are simple solution to help you develop a strong family foundation that will last a life time. Parents, you will make mistakes but do not allow your mistakes to put you or your family in bondage. You must seek every legal means possible to ensure the success of your family. Live a life you know that will be a guiding light for you and your family.

Written by: Mr. Wisdom

http://www.successtoparenting.com/

(c) EnviCare Consulting, Inc. Alrights Reserved Worldwide