Challenges Teenagers Are Facing With Their Parents

Challenges Teenagers Are Facing With Their Parents

I had an excellent opportunity to ask a group of teenagers about challenges they are personally facing with their parents.  The teenagers were very opened to responding to the question. I do believe they were honest about their feelings. I hope the information contained within this article will assist everyone in understanding the challenges teenagers are facing with their parents. We need to understand what our teenagers are struggle with in life in order to assist the teenagers in their development. Listed below are their responses. The names were changed to protect their identity.

What challenges are you facing with your parents?

Mercy: The challenges I am facing with my parents are they don’t trust me anymore because of the wrong choices I have made and because of the friends I make. They don’t help me when I need help.

Tom: Some of the challenges I am facing with my parents are poor communication and they are not listening to what I have to say. They do not give me a chance to make a decision on what I want to do. Most of the time, I do what they want or tell me to do but I never really get a say.

Jacob: The challenges I’m facing is with my mom. She is always thinking that I am lying.  Most of the times I take her things without permission but I can’t help myself. I try to ask but when I do she says no. I get mad and angry when she says no. When I ask my mother for something, she normally says no.  I end up taking whatever she said no to.  Then I say I asked and try to be nice.

Nathan: Some challenges I face with my parents is actual getting alone with one of them. We sometimes don’t see eye to eye. It gets hard when you are in the same household. That’s why I live with the parent I live with because I feel more comfortable and relaxed with. Another challenge that I face with my parents is being in self-control. We get out of control when a situation comes up.  Instead of solving the problem calmly and respectable, we react with yelling and disrespect.

Phillip:  The challenges I face with my parent are:  

1. They use up all the gas.
2. They are gone all the time.
3.  I am not allowed to hang out with certain friends.
4.  We have issues about my messy room and asking for money.
5.  We are arguing about grades.
6.  I am always being locked in my room.
7. Yelling!

Faye: The challenges I am facing with my parents is that they don’t trust me. They never trust me know matter what it is. Another thing is they have trouble understanding me. They think they do and they do try. But they still fail to trust and understand me.

  

Mark: The challenges I am facing with my parents are:

1. They don’t trust me 
2. Problems with my dad
3. Issues over homework
4. My parents over complaining
5.  Issues with my siblings

Cam: I have a close relationship with my parents. But if we ever have any problems, it is about going out with friends and that I am hanging around. Some of my friends my parents don’t particular like.

Emmanuel:  I am at a very rebellious stage in my life. I want to be able to do what I won’t to do. I want them to stop trying to make my decision for me. This is a big challenge, but I am winning. As long as what I am doing does not affect how well I do in school nor put my life in danger, they should have no say in what I do.

Dexter: The challenges I am facing with my parents is them not believing in me when I get in trouble or tell the truth. Another issue is when we both disagree on something. Sometimes I can hear like a crying sound in her force but no tears.

Debbie:  The challenges I am facing with my parents is that I am never really able to get along with my mom for longer than three hours. Because when I am talking to her she will say that she does not want to hear it even if it’s something that I am worried about. It’s not like I have a dad I can communicate with because he passed away in a car accident before I was one year old. When I and my mom actually do get along its fun but I know it won’t last for long.

Ray: Some challenges I am facing is communication at this time. They don’t always listen to what I have to say or give me a chance to make a decision on what I want to do. Most of the time, I just do what they want to do or tell me to do so I never really get a say.

Parents, I hope you have had an opportunity to reflect on the issues teenagers or facing with their parents.   Maybe you are facing similar issues with your teenager and you are struggling how to deal with your situation. All of the issues they wrote about can be easily dealt with. As a parent and grandparent who have worked with teenagers for many years, the common mistakes parents make are listed below:

1.  Don’t have dinner frequently as a family. Eating dinner as a family helps with communication, listening and understanding what the teenager is facing.
2. Don’t allow there teenager to rebuild trust as a result of the bad choices the teenager made in the past.
3. Lack of awareness of their teenager need to make their own decision sometimes. They need to make decision even though sometimes they might fail.  You must guide your teenager through this stage of development because eventually they might become parents. It’s okay to monitor their thinking’s process, and give them some guidance with a loving, caring and compassionate heart.
4. Unaware of the issues the teenager is facing in school.  Set aside time to get involved in the school and get to know your teenager’s teachers.
5. Didn’t take an opportunity to adequately explain to the teenager the reasons they can’t hang out with certain friends. It’s very important that the decision to limit who the teenager hangs out with is based on health and safety of the teenager. For example, a teenager was told that he couldn’t hang out with a friend because he was goofy. I asked him “What did your mother mean? He explained that his mother said “He was too messy.”  This is not a realistic reason to request that the teenager don’t hang out with his friend.
6.  Didn’t communicate feelings to teenager with respect without yelling
7. Over reacting when the teenager make wrong choices

Parents, please take the time to understand, listen, trust, avoid yelling, and become the greatest role model for your teenager. There are other role models in your teenager’s life but you must be the greatest. A strong relationship with your teenager will maximize your ability to influence the teenager in an awesome way. You will always experience some challenges with your teenager. However, when the teenager becomes an adult the life skills you taught the teenager will be absolutely valuable and beneficial.

Written by: Billy J. Strawter, Sr.

© 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.                                       All Rights Reserved

Twenty Issues That Negatively Impact the Family

There are many situations that negatively impact the foundation of the family. This article focuses on twenty issues that negatively impact the success of a family. Solutions are also provided to help the family to move in the right direction. Every family must identify the best strategies they can use to ensure the success of their family. Use appropriate tools that work for your family. Listed below are solutions to help you to deal with the twenty Issue that negatively impact the family:

Issue #1 Instability in the home

Solution: Provide stability and avoid divorce if possible; do not live together without being married. Reward each other for good deeds.

Issue #2 Decline of role models

Solution: Avoid being involved with activities that will negatively impact your child’s behavior. Value your child’s opinion. Admit when you are wrong and apologize.

Issue #3 Decline in spirituality

Solution: Teach your child spiritual values. Lead by example. If you do not teach them about spirituality someone will.

Issue #4 Lack of consistent discipline

Solution: Provide consistent discipline with love; explain reason (s) for disciplinary action. Avoid arguments that lead to unproductive discussions. Provide the child with boundaries.

Issue #5 Lack of father or mother in the home

Solution: Both mother and father are needed in the home if possible. If not, fathers need to be involved in some manner with the child as well as the mother.

Issue #6 Lack of communication

Solution: Value good communication. Give the child a sense of security by being there for them regardless of their actions. Let your yes mean yes and no mean no! Explain clearly any changes in decision.

Issue #7 Poor listening skills

Solution: Learn when to give advice and when to listen.

Issue #8: Drug and alcohol abuse
Solution: Communicate the dangers of using drugs, alcohol and the negative impact it has on their lives and others.

Issue # 9: Sexual abuse

Solution: Share with your child the purpose of sex and inform them of inappropriate behavior that can hurt them and others for years. Discuss the consequences such as sexual transmitted diseases (STD's) and pregnancy. Discuss with them that sex offenders will be labeled as a sex offenders and that it will impact their freedom to work and live anywhere they desire.

Issue #10 Lack of family time

Solution: Eat dinner together. Participate in your child (s) activities (hobbies and sports). Limit child involvement in activities that keeps him/her away from the family.

Issue #11 Peer pressure

Solution: Build positive self-esteem by giving important tasks to perform and encourage volunteer work. Let your child know you are proud of the small things they do correctly. Hopefully it will decrease their potential to give into peer pressure.

Issue #12: Inability to control attitude and temper

Solution: Avoid reacting to negative situations but calmly communicate your feelings to the child with respect. Use control when you are angry about your child’s negative behavior.

Issue #13 Too much emphasis on material possessions

Solution: Instill good work ethics. Share with your child the importance of waiting for material things.

Issue #14 Lack of extended family

Solution: Allow your child to get to know his or her grandparents. Get advice and support from other family members.

Issue #15 Insufficient love and hugs

Solution: Tell your child you love him or her and give them a hug.

Issue #16 Character attack

Solution: Build your child’s character by understanding their needs. Dislike the negative behavior but love the child. Do not call the child stupid or dumb. Avoid using undesirable language to attack your child's character.

Issue #17 Lack of goals and vision

Solution: Teach the child the importance of setting goals.

Issue #18 Lack of skill to manage money

Solution: Teach the child about money management. Set up a savings account at home or bank.

Issue #19 Selfishness

Solution: Teach a child how to serve others with compassion.

Issue # 20 Lack of forgiveness

Solution: Encourage a child to forgive those who hurt him or her. This allows the child to grow beyond the pain they have experienced.

These are simple solution to help you develop a strong family foundation that will last a life time. Parents, you will make mistakes but do not allow your mistakes to put you or your family in bondage. You must seek every legal means possible to ensure the success of your family. Live a life you know that will be a guiding light for you and your family.

Written by: Mr. Wisdom

http://www.successtoparenting.com/

(c) EnviCare Consulting, Inc. Alrights Reserved Worldwide