Changes Teenagers Need of Their Father to Improve Relationship

Have you ever had the desire for someone to change their negative behavior because it was destroying or damaging the relationship? I am quite sure your answer is probably, yes! As a parent, I have made many mistakes but I always valued our teenagers’ perspective on things. Sometimes we disagreed but we did everything we could to prevent damaging the relationship. My greatest desire was to always respect my adolescents' opinions.

 

Listed below are changes teenagers said they needed of their father to improve their relationship:

 

 Sierra: "My father and I have a good relationship. But I know I have a lot of hostility against him because of how much he drinks. I don’t. normally let the hostility out but sometimes I do. I know sometime it hurt but it hurts me to watch him drink every day."

Sara wants her father to stop drinking because of the damage the alcohol is doing to her father physically and emotionally. She was very concerned about the impact on their relationship. I hope that one day Sierra's father will stop drinking so that her life will be better as they rebuild their relationship. Her father needs to seek help to stop drinking. I pray and hope he will make a commitment to get help.

Frank: "My pop needs to listens to me more often

Vanessa: "My father needs to talk to me instead of arguing with me."

Dallas: "My father needs to spend more time with me and be there for me without yelling at me. Talk to me instead of yelling at me."

Tammy: "My daddy needs to be in my life more.  Daddy needs to understand where I am coming from about everything."

Hillary: “I wish my dad would come to see me more often and spend time with me. I also want my dad to love me in spite of all the mistakes I have made!"

Ruby: "My father needs to talk to me more often and don't tell me he's going to do things for me and then he doesn’t follow through"

 

Comments on teenagers’ responses to question

 

Adolescents are wonderful to be around to engage in a conversation about life. Teens are very intelligent but some have deficiencies in life skills which may and may not be as a result of their doing. These teenagers shared their feelings but sometimes they fail to share their feelings with their father. Listed below are 16 steps every father in the world should consider to improve their relationship with their teenager:

 

Fifteen (16) steps for a father to improve relationship with their teenager

1. Always keep your promise
2. Do not make a promise you can't keep
3.  Explain why you can't keep the promise before hand, if the promise must be broken
4. Avoid substance of abuse to prevent damaging the relationship with your teenager.
5. Take time to listen and give advice only when your teenager ask for it
6.  Do not yell at your teenager but speak firmly with a loving and caring heart
7.  Make spending time with your teenager a high priority
8.  Avoid working when you are spending time with your teenager
9. Communication your feelings with respect to your teenager during conflict
10. Do not give material things as a substitute to spending time with your teenager
11. Model being a great father to your youth
12. Teach your teenager the life skills needed to be successful
13. Show unconditional love regardless of the number of wrong choices your youngster makes
14. Model to your adolescent the value of serving others
15. Value your teenager’s opinion as a supportive father building a relationship your teenager
16. Show your teenager what it means to be committed to a relationship

Written: Billy J.  Strawter, Sr

(c) 2012 EnviCare Consulting, Inc.   All rights reserved